


Unhealthy Flaw

by Little_Firestar84



Series: Blackdragon Universe [8]
Category: Captain Britain and MI: 13, Excalibur (Comic), X-Men (Comicverse), X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, One Shot, Short One Shot, nicotine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-02
Updated: 2019-07-02
Packaged: 2020-06-02 22:03:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19450384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Little_Firestar84/pseuds/Little_Firestar84
Summary: “Look, I have a flow, it’s no big deal.  I accept all of yours; would it really be that hard for you to accept me for this?” OR: After Marriage, Pete Wisdom gave up smoking... only to be led to perdition once again.





	Unhealthy Flaw

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you very much Amazon for having added to you library Friends, I've been missing the first few seasons. Inspired by Friends' episode "The one with the thumb." Part of the Blackdragon Universe, but, as I don't mention the name of the spouse, it can really be anyone.

“What I mean, Mister Wisdom- I’m sorry, I keep forgetting that it is _director_ Wisdom now-is that it’s of the uttermost importance dealing with this delicate situation as soon as possible. You’ll agree with me that we _just can’t_ have a clandestine _foreign_ mutant criminal, wanted in several countries outside our borders, playing havoc with _our_ National security.”

Pete Wisdom, real life, super-powered James Bond, at Her Majesty’s service, swallowed, hard, his eyes as big as saucers, his features paler than usual, a stark contrast with his dark suit and the matching tie. He was trembling, and yet, sweating in profusion. The brand new Prime Minister, the poor old sap who had had the unpleasant task of following into May’s footsteps, sighed, almost moved by Wisdom’s demeanour – he was so worried, had so much ay heart the interest of his Country, that he couldn’t help but being so worried about the presence in their Kingdom of who could only be defined as living and breathing weapon of mass destruction. 

Only, it wasn’t really the case, but the good old prime minister didn’t have to know it. 

Pete Wisdom wasn’t worried about his country – he trusted that MI 13 would have dealt with the unpleasant renegade mutant when the time would have come. But, he didn’t trust himself in that precise moment, as he fought against the biggest temptation he had ever faced in his life, even bigger than Guinevere, who had offered herself up to _him_ in Camelot clad in nothing but a sexy negligee that was far too forward even for how illuminist King Arthur’s kingdom was.

The prime minister took a puff of his cig, and sighed again, only this time, he was extremely relaxed, almost laid back.He looked at Wisdom, biting his lips, and then, he shook his head, patting his pockets as to look for something. “I’m so sorry, Director, where are my manners? Can I offer you a cig?”

Wisdom knew that he shouldn’t have- he had sworn to his sweet other half that he was going to give up on smoking once and for all- but he told himself he was doing it for Queen and Country. It was a social occasion of sort, after all – one just couldn’t refuse the Prime Minister. He was such a busy man that it wasn’t his fault if he had forgotten that his favourite (and only, as Peter Paul Winston Wisdom held now the role of J.I.C. chair) director had quitted smoking. Besides, he had been so good – for three bloody years- and _that_ was his reward. 

Pete suspired in relief, smiling as everything was good and right in the world, and he kindly accepted the object of his desires like it was everyday business and not the end of the world as he knew it. “But of course, Sir, thank you very much.”

***

Three weeks- he had been smoking again for three weeks. Three weeks of lies and subterfuges in the attempt of escape his sweet other half’s rage at the discovery of his betrayal. But it wasn’t really his fault- he was a weak, weak man, and quitting the first two times around had been literal hell – that’s why he didn’t have any intention of quitting again any time soon. Not when he had even been a good boy, going from two packs he used to smoke back when he was a filed agent _and_ director of MI 13 to his ten of now. 

Yet, even if he just loved smoking, this time it was hell, and far from the relaxing activity he had remembered it to be. He wasn’t even smoking outside or at the windows, for he feared that the nosy neighbours (Brian and Meggan) would report him to his sweet other half, and he just couldn’t have any of it. Not yet, at least – it was, as the old saying went, something that he could put off until tomorrow.For nor air spray, mints and breath refreshers were his biggest friends and his most trusted allies.

As he herd the front door closing, he hurried to a secret hidden compartment in his desk, and hurriedly he retrieved his treasure, his old golden lighter, one of the few things his old man had left behind for his son, and a packet of Regal. Leaning against his desk, he took a puff, relaxed, his eyes closed as in awe, when he heard the dreadful sound.

A certain someone was clearing her voice- his beloved other half. 

“Look, petal,” he called her with the pet name he has used for every female (her included) since the tender age of thirteen, when girls his age (and older) started noticing the dark, tall, handsome man with the blue eyes. “I can explain.” 

“Oh, you can, can’t you?” She lifted a perfect eyebrow, her arms crossed.

“I know, I know, when I quit last time I practically went through withdrawal, but I can’t help it. When I take a puff, it’s… it’s not just a cigarette, it’s something that has been missing from my hand ever since I told myself that I was done with cigs. When I hold it, I feel right, I feel… complete.”

“So, ever since you quit smoking- for _me_ – you’ve been missing it? Why haven’t you told me anything?”

Pete scratched the back of his head, lazily, looking almost sorry. He was blushing lightly, something that made him adorable, so different from the hard-assed man, thought guy he acted like in his everyday life as a master spy. “Look, I have a flow, it’s no big deal. Like you, with your over pronouncing every single word, or the way you _always_ have to be in control isn’t annoying? I accept all of your flaws; would it really be that hard for you to accept me for this?”

The eyebrow stood lifted. “Yeah, you do know that I’m a strategist and that, by being over-controlling, I kind of keep people alive in the field, right?” She quizzically asked, smirking. 

He rolled his eyes, groaning. “Don’t start with the cancer, and the emphysema and heart diseases. I like the person I am when I smoke, all right? Besides, I’m a weak, weak man- when I gotta have the smoke, I gotta have the smoke.”

“Ah, so that’s it, uh? Let’s try with a reward- If you’ll never, ever smoke again, I will….”Pete lifted an eyebrow, suddenly very interested. Maybe he hadn’t had as many adventures as his fictional counterpart, the famous James Bond, but he had been around. And even if he would have never given up on monogamy, he was pretty sure that there were still things they could do to spice the marriage up _and_ being totally faithful to their vows.

She gave him a small kiss on the nose, laughing. “Get your mind out of the gutter, you pervert. Just promise me that you’ll quit smoking for real and I’ll give you two percent of my company.”

He pretended to consider the choice and then gave his wife a small peck on the lips, throwing out of the open window at his beck the still half full packet of cigarettes. “It’s a deal.”


End file.
